P.S.Thank you to everyone who gave me some good tips and inspirational words. It was very much appreciated. I can't tell you how encouraging it is to me, to have people like you all in my life who are willing to take time out of your life to say something to me.
Okay, Okay...back on topic...so as all of you know, John and I have been dating for basically the entire time we've been adults...and then some. In other words, I can honestly say that for as long as I have been mature enough to be in a mature relationship, I have been in one. I was 17 (the age my little sister is now) when John and I started dating. (Crazy to think about now) And let me tell you, we got very serious, very fast. && By that I don't mean we moved in together or that we had sex. In fact, we didn't even kiss until we were dating for about 6 months. (i know. that's crazy nowadays, but it was something I felt very deeply about and I didn't want to kiss him until I felt like I was ready) I mean that we fell for each other very fast. I told him EVERYTHING and he told me everything. & Because of the way my parents were (I can dedicate another blog post to this one entirely), we were unable to see each other very often and that meant we had a lot of time to talk (via email, facebook, texting, AIM, phone, etc.). We found every opportunity to talk to each other and both of us quickly realized that we would be in eachother's lives for a very long time. From the time I have been 17 years old, I have become closer and closer to my best friend. He is a huge blessing in my life and i couldn't think of being with anyone else. However, with young love, also comes some drawbacks.
One of the biggest drawbacks, I personally struggle with, is feeling like you're 30 years old when you are 20 years old. I don't know if this is just a problem with me or if this is something other's can relate to, but TRUST ME, it isn't a good feeling. I'm going to try to explain this in the best way I know how. At this stage in their relationship, 3 years, my parents were married and had 2 children. In other words, I feel like because of our age and our stage in life it is unacceptable to be that serious, granted I don't want to be married with 2 children. I feel like we are very serious and that we know each other very well and that isn't something many young people our age feel. For goodness sakes, if everything goes the way I think it will, I will be with John my whole life, from the age of 17 years old. It's CRAZY. So it's hard to relate to people my age when I more relate to those who are married or who are getting married soon. My friends are all just now getting into relationships, and here we are..."The Old Married Couple". It's a role I never thought i would play and it's definitely so difficult at times.
Another drawback is that we have slowly come out of the honeymoon stage and are at the point where we are so comfortable with each other that we're almost too much ourselves. haha Again...Old Married Couple status again has been reached. While all my friends are enjoying the new, fresh aroma of love...I am having a comfortable, married feeling. Sometimes I need the spontaneity we used to have and I long for feeling the way I did when we first started dating. It's unrealistic that it would stay that way forever, i know, but again...I'M 20!
SOOOOO....guess what I did about that? I decided that I was going to make our relationship feel different and spontaneous because you know, after being with someone for 3+ years, you kinda need a bit of different in your life. So now I try to text happy, positive, reaffirming things to John as much as I can. I have started to cook and bring him and his roommates food, which let me tell you ladies...WORKS WONDERS...I try to plan at least one night a week where we have a date like we used to. And I try to listen and share like we used to when we hadn't even kissed yet. All of those things, although not completely like it used to be, helps both of us to appreciate eachother and to appreciate the position God has put us in. After all, he planned this a long time ago...so who am I to question it. Nothing in life is easy...and no matter what age you are, you're always going to feel a little different than everyone else. Embrace the life you have and try your best to improve it to make you happy. You'd be surprised how easy it is.